Asked to relate the events of Sunday, a nervous Josh couldn't remember what Susan was wearing, and explained again how she had been tired and had laid down. Later she had gotten out of bed and they had hot dogs and watched The Santa Clause 2. Or maybe it was The Santa Clause 3. Braden had fallen asleep, so Josh took just Charlie sledding at a park near Whittier Elementary School, although in one version of his story both boys went sledding. When they got home, Susan was watching TV. Josh read the boys a story, then he began to clean the couch with his new Rug Doctor, a vacuum cleaning system he had spent several hundred dollars on a couple of weeks before.

If I Can’t Have You is Charlotte Levin’s superb debut novel and is part thriller and part human interest story which is a smart and heart-breaking read. It poses the question: how far would you be willing to go for the one you love?

This story will make you cry at the injustice of it all, and will also make you very, very angry - and not just at the Powell family but the spineless police detectives and other official agencies that couldn't seem to talk to each other. The circumstancial evidence is just too compelling to be coincidence. At first there was a sense of relief: Josh and Susan and the boys were not dead in their beds. But something was wrong. I'm not saying he should have done life in prison after the first time. No one was physically hurt after all. But if he had done a few years and had a fine he couldn't pay maybe, just freaking maybe, he would have thought twice about doing it again. Sitting at home all summer wasn't ideal in a home not really set up for little ones - a household with an uncle on meds, a caregiver aunt who'd been thrust into the role without any training, and a grandfather who was obsessed with pornography.

EM: Let me tell ya something. You're, I mean, you're kind of being helpful but you're not helpful, 'cause I mean I've been married and I know who … I can tell you who my wife's closest friends are. Women do find the rape scenario attractive and appealing and exciting... women want to be raped by Robert Redford." This is a debut! But you would never know. The writing is flawless - some stunning sentences that showed an intelligent side to Constance that she was not credited for by her peers. So after reading about him a bit I really didn't mind. I didn't *mind* it in the beginning either, it was just something I found somewhat odd.This book scared me, but not for the reasons one might think. Susan Powell went missing. She left behind two young sons and her husband, who as this book carefully lays out is most likely responsible for her murder. Two years later, a still free but under investigation Josh, murders his sons then kills himself. As horrific as all this is - and it is gut wrenchingly horrific - a man killing his family and himself is common enough that it isn't in your face scary. What is scary is how much evidence the police had that Josh and possibly some of his relatives (father, brother, sister?) were responsible for Susan's disappearance/murder yet didn't arrest him. Lots of evidence. Yes, most was circumstantial as her body has never been found, but so much that it just doesn't make sense why he was never charged leaving him free to kill his children. Scary rage in 3...2...1...