What Women Want: Conversations on Desire, Power, Love and Growth

Product Information

it illuminates the asymmetry in how men and women tend to behave in certain contexts (e.g., why men are often frustrated by women “sending mixed signals” or “playing hard to get”) and the evolutionary reasons for this It's frustrating. Whelan's got some good ideas, many of them unfashionable and unpalatable in the context of contemporary feminist discourse, and I admire her directness in expressing them (more sensibly here than in her inflammatory articles). When she talks about what she thinks feminists should be focusing on, her ideas are perfectly sound: easier access to abortion, decriminalisation of sex work, state childcare; policies that help disadvantaged and marginalised women rather than making things cosier for the already well-educated and well-off. But What Women Want feels like it would have been infinitely better as a short essay. In trying to expand her arguments, Whelan only manages to expose the flaws in them. Also, I very much appreciated the section on ethics and honesty in dating. On behalf of women everywhere, thanks so much for encouraging men to clarify their dating ethics and be stand-up guys! Really good stuff and spot on. A rich and intimate examination of female desire, Maxine's book is full of wisdom and insight. I cannot recommend it enough' Julia Samuel Assertiveness is a delicate balance between being protective and decisive and being overbearing and possessive. The distinction is as much about the ability to assess threats as the ability to read the reaction of women on the other side of your efforts.

The one thing people don't mean when they say 'just be yourself' is "make zero effort to cultivate or display any of the traits that make women feel happy, safe, impressed and attracted." The book is well written, and shares stories of seven different women who all have been in psychotherapy with Maxine Mei-Fung Chung for shorter or longer times. It gives a good description of the interaction between the women seeking help and the professional and how the sessions help them to develop as persons, and in some cases reclaim their own personalities. There is plenty of detail and I liked how Maxine Mei-Fung Chung guides the clients through the sessions with tender probing and open questions. Contrary to the Romeo and Juliet myth that social adversity makes love stronger, relationships have lower satisfaction and worse outcomes if they aren’t integrated into the lovers’ social networks or if friends disapprove."Above all, Toews also offers a generative vision of women’s lives under patriarchy. Her female characters argue fiercely, sometimes rancorously, but their fights are underwritten by compassion and geared toward a shared purpose. We see this in gestures of physical tenderness at times of heightened emotion—a daughter rubbing her mother’s swollen feet, an aunt braiding her niece’s hair, a woman “breathing sweetness, peace, into the mind of her angry sister”—but also in the way they rally around their common goal. Even the two women who are most at odds, August notes, “always come together as a united force during crises.” It’s a vision of solidarity strong enough to withstand disagreement. This is the feminist future we should want. The framing of any feminist concept Whelan doesn't like as 'anti-working-class' is also on shaky ground. I can't offer anything more than anecdotal evidence, but I know loads of working-class women who'd call themselves feminists and care about the issues disparaged in this book. After a while, the continued insistence that working-class women don't give a shit about feminism starts to seem exactly like the sort of patronising assumption Whelan keeps accusing her opponents of. They might still be attracted to you, but it will be harder for them to trust you. And if you cannot make them comfortable and come across as trustworthy, you won’t go far. I found this fascinating. I really appreciated that the finished articles were approved by the women themselves, and that felt genuine and authentic to me. I couldn't help but become deeply invested in each woman and her circumstances because of the empathy that Chung fosters. She also brings her own want to the table. and the reader can't help but relate, because in lots of ways these are shared experiences. To build real confidence you must boost real competence...The only effective strategy for gaining real confidence is to develop skills and demonstrate performance of those skills."

Does he carry good genes? “the ultimate evolutionary fantasy is finding a new male lover who has awesome traits that testify to his great genetic quality, who is from a strange new tribe that offers genetic innovations unavailable domestically, and who is worth getting pregnant with tonight even if he gets killed in battle tomorrow.” The overall point he makes is not fully wrong: women are more heavily judged simply on the basis of looks.

By doing this, he completely invades the personal space of the group, interrupts the conversation (..) demonstrating his confidence loud and clear. Easy out and easy escalation. If it’s bad, a way to go after an hour, but if it’s good a “next stop” to go to (e.g. dinner, dancing).

Be clear in what you want. Short term? Long term? Partner? Casual sex? Know what you want before you go looking for anything. It’s not that men are more visual, it’s that all that matters about a woman are her looks. To reproduce effectively she needs to be a female, young, and have a good body.

Retailers:

What does a woman want?” The question famously posed by Sigmund Freud has always puzzled author and psychotherapist Maxine Mei-Fung Chung. Based on the experiences of seven very different women who came to her for help, this is her attempt to answer the question.

Only it stops there. Whelan doesn't examine the logical endpoint of her position. indeed she even laments the 20-week limit in some country or other.Wir Frauen sind kein unergründliches Mysterium, genauso wenig wie unsere Wünsche und Bedürfnisse. Aber unser Begehren ist komplex.“ The author seems to suggest that all men chase an “imaginary need for status”, good careers, and accomplishments for women. He says that once men learn instead how women think and how dating works, then they won’t care anymore for their jobs. As a man, it is impossible to be better at mating until you understand the subjective experience of a woman, because it is fundamentally different than yours in many ways...Some of the same male traits that frighten you the most also seem to be the most attractive to you. The guys who pose the greatest physical threat are also the same guys you can envision making you feel the safest. The guy who seems like the most egotistical player in the bar is also the one making you laugh so hard that your ribs hurt. It’s all a giant, swirling, pulsating contradiction. This is the world of sex and dating for women." I find that after a woman’s initial refusal, I lose a lot of interest and that hasn’t served me too well. I will heed this suggestion whenever it fits the situation. CONS What I really appreciated about the book is that while the authors offer charisma techniques here and there, it's always surrounded by practical advice and a core emphasis on developing one's character. Unlike books in the manosphere which encourage degrading women to compensate for feelings of inferiority, this book tells men to take responsibility for their inferiority and improve themselves. Unlike books which point to women as being the problem, this book tells men we are the ones creating the problem when we expect women to magically like us while at the same time being lazy, incompetent, unsanitary buffoons!