Vainqueur the Dragon

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No wonder that Marquise lowered herself to hire thieves. Vainqueur too would be bitter at living in a palace with only one tower. The dragon in question, Vainqueur, has been burning villages, collecting gold, kidnapping princesses for as long as he can remember. But he's never heard of levelling up until someone tries to take a rapier from his precious hoard. In the conversation that follows -he does like to talk to thieves to find out why they are stealing from him before he eats them - he discovers levelling up. He also discovers that people will pay him gold - and build his hoard - to do everything he would do anyway. Thus the first dragon adventurer is created. The dragon extended his arms, abandoning himself to the blissful feeling of coins raining down his scales.

Still, he immediately smashed the barrier with it. “Here is Vainqueur!” the dragon snarled, the weapon shattering the invisible wall and collapsing it. Vainqueur is the story of a powerful, wildly vain, and surprisingly clueless dragon named Vainqueur who learns his world was ALWAYS an RPG world. He, like all other dragons, was just too far up his own ass to notice. When a thief named Victor carelessly spills the beans while trying to rob his horde, Vainqueur gains a class and realizes he can rake in the gold as an adventurer. He press gangs Victor into being his “minion” and sets out to get rich and settle an old score. Minions?” Understanding the dragon would let him live so long as he answered, manling Victor spoke. “I had a party once, but it didn’t work out. Like I was the only professional with ambition beyond petty theft.”And, so, the dragon doesn't eat the human but makes him a minion so he can learn more, and get quests, and stuff. Off the bat, holy balls, this is good! What “There Is No Epic Loot Here, Only Puns” is for dungeon core stories Vainqueur is for general LitRPG. This is primo satire, boys and girls. Something that the genre has only toyed with, by and large. Not immune to—ah yes, he had forgotten. By the elder wyrm, how could the manlings avoid extinction so far? “We will delay my gratification after the fires die down,” Vainqueur said. “After we obtain restitution for your previous employer’s crime.”

I will have them kiss my finger,” Vainqueur said. “If they love me as you do, they will. Not like the others.”That scrap creature had been built to fight dragons… so Vainqueur shouldn’t fight it like a dragon. Manling Victor fell silent, crushed by his shame. Finally, he understood that in failing to keep the monstrous lich imprisoned, all the countless atrocities the goldslayer would commit shall be on his head.